It has been a long four days. Can't seem to feel better. Started not to post anything. But felt should make an effort to do something even if it is just to post this site. Friday, I was asked a question that is hard to answer, the question was what do I think about these days? I could lay out the short verison and just say everything. But I'm not sure how honest that would be. I try to be positive and visualize getting better, but with limited success I admit. There are periods where it is easier not to think at all. I think about what death will be like, I visualize what heaven will be like. I wonder what the exact process of transition will be. I worry about the things my family is going through. I worry that I will cause more stress with my hardheadedness. I think about the good days in the past. And sometimes, I just cry. I wonder if Isabella will remember her Pawpaw Dune. I dread doctor's visits and the procedures. Lord knows they are trying their best. I read the blogs and think about the folks that support me and help me by keeping the news positive. I thank God for each of you and for the moments He provides that are free from the sick feelings. Not a very articulate answer, but it is the best I can do for now. Tomorrow back to Tulane, Wednesday back to Onocologist.
Dune
About Me
- Gary Hammett
- Covington, Louisiana, United States
- You might wonder how I got the nick name Dune. It was given to me by Ryan Andrew my #1 nephew. For some reason he called me Dune and it stuck. It's the name I'm proudest of. Thanks Rye!!
Dune In Better Times
He's a walking contradiction partly truth and partly fiction taking every wrong direction on his lonely way back home!
10 comments:
Hi Gary, again, thank you for your brave post. You may not think of it as brave, but, I think it is -- you dare to put into words what so many wonder about. You speak truthfully, and by that give us permission to speak from our heart.
I SO hate that you are having this challenge and sickness. At times like this, I think all anyone can do is know that we are in God's hands, and His are loving hands that originally planned a world without sickness or pain, and will again one day provide us with that.
I think everyone wonders the very same things you mention. The only good thing about your situation is that it allows you time to express your love, appreciation, gratitude to those you love, and even special words TO Isabella - - she loves you so much. Its been a joy to watch you and Robbie with her.
I cannot imagine how difficult this really is for you both, and I know you have not given up, nor given in! It's just hard!
My prayer is, "Dear Lord, please bless Gary as he reads this; give him some way to see You in real life today. Bless him and his family with your great love, compassion, and tenderness, expressed by one of your children today. Give them both strength for the journey, and please, some rest. Encourage them both dear Father, and bless the ones that love them so very much. I pray in Jesus' name, Amen."
Love, Nita
Gary,
Read your blog, sorry you are feeling rough just thinking about you hope tomorrow is better just want you to know what a good man you are I wish I was as good a family man and father as you are so hang in there because you are loved and respected by all of us especially me.
Love,
Pete
Gary,
I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love ya tons,
Niki
Hi Gary, What a brave & honest statement of how you are feeling. I hate so much wht you & Robbi are having to deal with, but life is tough. I know how strong your faith is & I am grateful that God has promised us strength for this day. We all acknowledge that HE is the one in control, but we do not have to like what is going on.
Know that you both are very loved & supported with many prayers that God will work HIS plan in your lives.
Much love,
Memaw & Billy
I'm stoned yet again, Vicodin. Three things you should know about Lafayette, the people are friendly, everything is closed Sunday and Monday, and the curbs are @%#$.
One minute I'm standing, the next I'm laying flat on my butt with a severely sprained ankle.
Huey is still staring at us as if plotting our demise. He is especially eyeing my bandage, he seems to think it is a toy.
My next home will have a toilet on the ground floor.
Crutches need a cup holder.
Yes mom, New Orleans weed is much better. I made two stops last week, one with the local, and one from New Orleans. The smell, texture, and color of the NOLA dope was much better and there were far fewer seeds and stems. The JP dope looked as if it had been through a lawn mower.
Dad, until this is over there will be darkness, I know this. There will be sleepless nights, and questions and tears. There is nothing, not a damn thing, anyone can say that will make this easier.
"I know how you feel." Will always be a lie. You'll always wonder, "How much more do I have to give?"
I can only say that I made it through those times because of you, mom, and Mark. I can also say that everything is better once you've crossed through to the other side. My life is so much better for those dark days.
Remember that you are not obligated to always be strong or to always put a smiling face on things. And also remember that I will always back your play when it comes to the medical decisions.
Love you, Jeremy
PS- I still remember Gage.
Hey Dude sorry I haven't written in the past few days. I'm in Flagstaff, AZ working with a unit here. Hope to be home Saturday (AT ends). I echo Marks comments, you've always been a stand up leader and are making every effort to be the strongest. We are here to support you. Our prayer and thoughts are with you. I will check again soon, hopefully before I get back home.
God bless Ike and Sue
Dixie likes horse feed and hates my electric broom. Who knew?!
Hey Dune,
I'm moving tomorrow! Just a head's up. I have Labor Day off of school so I think I'll call and see how you're feeling and drop by if you feel like company. I'll be putting up pictures soon of my room once I get settled. I love you more every day!
Ta
Dear Gary
Hope you are having a better day and that things went well at the doctors. Hang on with all your might, your a good soldier. Keeping you in our prayers, you are the last thing we think about at night.
Love Sandra and RJ
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